So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
