I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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