you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
