we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
