My nipple is on Facebook.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
