please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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