Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
