I must be too annoying 4 u.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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