we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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