sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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