He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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