He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
