she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
