yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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