He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
