I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
