I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
