Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
