just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
last night I used snow as a chaser
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
