I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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