marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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