I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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