I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Nobody cheats on THIS.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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