Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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