My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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