They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
