where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
