I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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