Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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