i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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