I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
