It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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