What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
