I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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