Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
