He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
