he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
