I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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