What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
