brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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