is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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