Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
