dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
