i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
