Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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