You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
