we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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