"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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