Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
