You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
