In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
