:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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