I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
