My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
