she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
