i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
