That's intense
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
