Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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