I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
