He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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