I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize