Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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