Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
