We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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