i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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