I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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