You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
